It's been a while since I've actually written a blog entry. Apart from being busy building a startup company, I was also grieving the loss of my mother and my fur baby Catherine.
Getting Estranged from FamilyAt one point in our life, we get estranged from a family member. According to a poll, thirty percent of women have been estranged from their moms. You might wonder how on earth can someone cut off their parent/parents from their lives?
Coming from a Filipino family where children have a tight bond with their parents, what could have gone wrong? It is hard to say exactly what went wrong. The destruction of the parent-child bond was a persistent source of melancholy, a feeling of incompleteness that weighed down the soul.
After a series of unfortunate events during my childhood, I decided to limit my parent's access to my life. They were the parents I once seemed to adore. My family used to be my source of comfort and security. Since my parents separated, I lost that sense of security and we all parted ways.
1. Set aside your differences
When couples separate, children are caught in an emotional tug-of-war. Even adult children get affected. It is better to set aside your differences for the sake of your children. Children should also attempt to keep the bond alive and try to understand their parents.
2. Tame Your Ego
Ego gets in the way of love. It distracts us from the bigger picture of love, happiness, and peace of mind. I let my ego run the show and now I have many regrets. Now it is too late to apologize to my mom.
3. See the potential rift and defuse it
A rift is difficult to repair once it sets in. Do not let things deteriorate. Set up a meeting and talk it over.
4. Forgive the unforgivable
“Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” ~Malachy McCourtro
Your parents may have done something wrong that they thought at the time was right. Learn to forgive and forget. Recognize the past as a dead era that you will never be able to change.
Start a New Beginning
Nobody can really go back and start a new beginning. But I believe I can start today and make a new ending. Losing my mom was a wake up call for me. Like all loss, it had to be a process. We'll always regret the chances we didn't take. But let it be a lesson to all of you, never take your parents for granted. Life is short. There is no time to leave important words unsaid.